Just a thought: it’s interesting how family dynamics change with the death of a family matriarch/patriarch.

Since I graduated from college in 2005, I have struggled with not being happy about my work. I have often thought the problem is me. Turns out that might not be all there is to it!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127352130

This story is an NPR report about research done by Dan Ariely, a Duke University professor who has studied the economics and emotions of work. His experiments in this story revolve around the benefits of work other than money, and how our view of our work affects the quality of the work.

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I stole this image. Sue me!

My wife is now about halfway through the pregnancy, and the closer it gets the more mushy I get. I feel like this is what I am supposed to do and that makes me happy and content. I know it will be hard; I know it will be harder than I can even prepare for. That doesn’t deter me. I am looking forward to being a dad to a beautiful little girl!

I haven’t mentioned yet that my wife is pregnant with our first child.

I also haven’t mentioned that I am extremely wishy-washy.

I want to be everything, but I rarely have the discipline to achieve any goal I set for myself. It is amazing that I made it through college.

Since graduation I have had 3 jobs in 2 industries, and about a million schemes about how to get out of the job/industry in which I am currently employed. There is nothing wrong with the job. I actually really enjoy what I do. I have employment ADD, I think. I cannot get too comfortable somewhere before I begin to get the itch to leave.

This is where the “We’re PREGNANT!!!!!” part comes in. A friend once told me she thought I’d settle out of my flighty stage once I have a child (another told me that I want to be a hot air balloon pilot so I can fly around and do a million different jobs, but that another therapy session). Her idea was that, once I have something to focus my energies on – something for which I am responsible – I will chill out a little and stop worrying about change-for-changes-sake (is that supposed to be hyphenated?).

She was right. As soon as I knew Lauren was expecting it seemed as if my urge to find something new – be that a job, hobby, whatever – went away.

I find this interesting. What is it about a child that is not yet born that makes me feel so settled, like I finally have a purpose?